Ameliorate
by rain-on-my-soul
Summary: An assortment of Adam-centric drabbles. 10th up: I am a fan of Blink-182. 11th up: The Devil is secretly a fan of Country music.
1. Aoristic

12/8/10

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I am however, trying to convince my roommate to get her boyfriend to take us up to Vancouver for a hostile takeover.

A/n: When will I ever go back to writing my multi-chaptered fics? Hopefully during winter break. The last month and a half has been bat-shit crazy. I haven't had time for writing; it was quite sad. Now though, the plot bunnies are out in full force and I'm back to doing what I love. So here I am, dribbling out little drabbles. I've decided I'm going to try and do some Adam-centric little drabbles (they might not all end up being Adam-centric), just in my spare time or when the inspiration strikes. I will continue my other fics, including longer Adam-centric oneshots, and the multi-chaptered fics will be the priority. Anyway, here's my first little drabble. Enjoy!

Aoristic \ey-uh-RIS-tik\ adjective;

1. Indefinite; indeterminate.

2. In grammar: A tense of the verb indicating past action without reference to whether the action involved was momentary or continuous.

Hallmark had it all wrong.

* * *

Forever was not romantic.

Infinity was not passionate.

Eternity was not true love. Endless time was the natural enemy of love. Endless time meant only pain. Love needs no pain. Love thrives on the taking away of pain. Love strives to never cause pain. Eternity is just pain.

Torture is everlasting.

Anguish is perpetual.

* * *

Love is not an eternity. Hell is an eternity.

Being trapped in Hell, all Adam could do was live forever and never die. All he wanted was time.

'_You never really know how much you truly care for something until it's gone,'_ Adam thought. _'I would love to get out of here.'_

~ROMS


	2. Towards Tomorrow

2/1/11

Towards Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. If I did, well, life would be different.

A/n: Here is another Adam drabble. With length rather than dramatic cleverness. It's probably set like right after the end of season 5. Let's pretend like it's sort of an alternate world of season 6. Sam and Adam escape from Hell, then go travelling and hunting together. I actually wouldn't mind if that's what season 6 really was. Dean would show up occasionally of course. Anyway…enjoy!

"Where the hell are we?" Adam asked from the passenger side of the Mustang as he absently perused a crinkled old atlas he had found in the car's glove compartment. It was in the car when they stole it.

"We're on our way to Troy, MI," Sam briefly answered, then went back to driving.

The atlas was for Ohio.

"There's going to be snow, isn't there?" the younger male remarked, shoving the atlas back into its compartment.

"Yes."

"Because hunting is so much more fun in the snow." Sarcastic roll of the eyes.

"Hmm."

"Can we stop for food before we get there?" The two had not eating anything since earlier that morning when they had boosted the car in the first place.

"No."

"Why not?" Sam may not be big on greasy burgers and fries, but the large man could put away found like winter was always around the corner.

"We're almost there."

Adam sighed. "Can we stop once we get there?"

"You can grab something from the vending machine at the motel." Sam continued to concentrate on driving and barely replied to his brother.

Adam glared at Sam. "Sounds really nutritious."

"Hmm."

The glare deepened. "What if I walk to some fast food place?"

"Hmm."

Now he was frowning. "What if I just keep walking?"

"Hm."

Deeply frowning and deeply glaring. "What if I never come back?"

"Hm."

"Sam?"

"Hm."

"Stop the damn car, you sasquatch!" Adam yelled, anger simmering on the surface.

Startled at his brother's sudden outcry, Sam swerved slightly, then braked to a screeching halt. "What the hell, Adam? What is the matter with you?" The blonde glared at him.

"Hmm."

Resentment hovering over his shoulders, Adam violently wrenched open the passenger side door and climbed out, dragging his bag with him. The fierce slamming of the car door signaled his heated exit. He wasted no time stomping away down the road. Sam quickly unbuckled himself and went to follow his brother.

"Where the hell are you going?" the older male asked.

"I told you, I'm walking. Not that you were actually listening," Adam replied.

"Walking? Why?"

"What does it matter to you?"

"Don't be stupid Adam, get in the car."

"If you think I'm stupid, then you obviously don't need me to hunt with you, so…" Sam interrupted his younger brother before the boy could finish his thought.

"I don't think you're stupid Adam."

"You hardly listen to me enough to know whether I'm stupid or not!" Adam was back to yelling.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Now Sam was yelling too.

"Don't ignore me Sam!"

"I'm not!"

"You are! You did not listen to a word I said in the car! Don't ignore me Sam! I'm not going to stick around if you are going to ignore me!"

"The car? That's what this is all about? You're pissed because I didn't want to stop for cheeseburgers?"

Even further into his fury, Adam's dam burst. "THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE DAMN CAR! I'M JUST SICK OF BEING IGNORED ALL THE TIME! BY YOU! BY MY MOM! BY DAD! IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO IGNORE ME, I SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED WHERE I WAS!"

Shocked as he was about his brother's vehement outburst, Sam finally understood the root of the problem. He stepped up, determined to calm the storm.

"It's about dad."

"No," Adam tried to protest, "it's about-"

"Adam, dad was a dick. He was a great hunter, but his parenting skills were crap. I know he believed he was protecting us, but he was the one who ended up hurting our family the most. I'm not like him."

"Prove it."

"I thought I had."

The blonde snorted. "How?"

"I gave you a choice. When we found ourselves out of that pit and in that field, I asked you if you wanted a normal life or if you wanted to come with me. You made a choice about where your life was going to go this time. You came with me. Now get in the car."

"Like I really had a choice of places to go."

"You're probably right. After all, where else would you need to go?"

Finally Adam smiled, sarcastically, and nodded. Sam really was the smart one.

"So we're stopping for dinner as soon as we get there?" the young hunter smirked.

"Yeah, I'll even buy you a beer."

"Well that is the big brother's job. Isn't it?"

Sam laughed. "Now I know why you came with me."

The End.

A/n: Life. Why? So much gets in the way of you! Argh! Been busy busy busy. I'm glad I finally got some writing finished. So much is just sitting half finished in my life. I hope ya'll liked this though. And if anyone is waiting for my SPN/Chrmd crossover fic, DO NOT WORRY! It is being continued. Hopefully a new chapter will be up within the week. Thanks for the patience. More Adam drabbles will come eventually to. Once I finish them. Review before you leave!

-ROMS


	3. Paladin

2/3/11

Paladin

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

A/n: More.

Dean's shotgun smoked from the rounds he had fired into the dark. He peered past the curling gray tendrils to stare at his brother kneeling on the ground. Sam's large figure was hunched over a still form.

"I missed!" Dean barked. "Damn thing was too fast. Hey Sam, did you get it?"

"He's dead," Sam's voice was as monotonous as it had ever been these past few months.

"You stab him in the heart?"

"He's dead."

Why did Dean even bother? Of course Sam would get the job done. The man had no soul; all he cared about was getting the job done. By any means necessary and damn the consequences.

Sam was wiping blood off of his blade when Dean walked over. The dead werewolf remained motionless under Sam's hard knee. Dean stared down at it with distaste while his younger, but irritatingly taller, brother rose back up to his full form.

"Well he had to be out here either just having hunted…" started Sam.

"Or he was in the process of finding some poor bastard's heart to tear out," Dean finished. "Guess we better check it out."

Sam pulled his coat closer and the two headed off further into the woods. A full moon's ominous glow lit their way. And soon into their walk, they reached something even more worrying. It was an ancient, crumbling, secluded graveyard in a gloomy, overgrown clearing with a shadowy figure backed up against one of the tombstones.

"Hey!" Dean called out to the person who had his knees bent against his chest with his head resting atop the folded limbs. When the person did not give any indication of movement or sound, Dean called out again. "Hey you! Over there next to the grave! Are you alright?" Still there was no answer.

Steadily, so as not to spook the silent silhouette, Sam and Dean crept forward.

When they were a little closer, the elder brother tried once more, "If you're worried about any werewolves that may or may not be chasing you, it's been taken care of. We're only here to help."

As soon as his brother said "help", Sam spotted a shiver coming from the figure. He could not really understand why, but something inside him responded strongly to that tiny little shake of movement.

"Are you alright?" asked Sam, gentler that he had been lately.

The figure's head snapped up. Eyes that use to be a clear green but were now a gray green shot open wide. The figure had instantaneously responded to the second voice, even after believing the first voice was not real. Because even if the second voice was also not real, the figure was compelled to respond to it.

It took Dean a few moments to recognize the exposed face.

Sam immediately recognized the faded eyes.

Within seconds, Adam was launching himself into Sam's arms. Sam easily caught the young male to his chest.

Dean stared at his two younger brothers.

Adam was pale and thin, but his hold on Sam was strong. Adam's fingernails dug into the skin of Sam's arms. There was even blood where the sharp crescents broke skin. Adam did not even appear to be breathing, he was clutching at Sam so hard. Sam was a lifeline, _the_ lifeline allowing Adam to have a heartbeat. Sam was the last _shred_ of sanity left in Adam.

It looked like Sam was crushing Adam's bones. Even as blood dripped down his arms, Sam could feel no pain. But still, he clung to Adam as if it was the only meaning in life he had ever had, his only true purpose. To surround Adam in his arms, a powerful protective circle.

Without a soul to guide him, Sam revealed to Dean that, without emotions, Sam still felt something. And it had to be more that just instinct.

End.

Still love ya all,

-ROMS


	4. Gadabout

2/14/11

Gadabout

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. If I did, all the cool people would come back.

A/n: I have way more important things I need to be writing. Like my proposal for my major. Ugh. Enjoy my procrastination anyway.

Maybe if Dean had not said it, things would be different.

"_Sam, just do what you're told for once and stay here. I'm the older one and you're still my little brother."_

It was very apparent that his words had had more than the desired effect.

"_Sam?"_

The Wall had shattered.

"_SAM!"_

* * *

Dean, Bobby, and Castiel tried to do something to help Sam. They tried everything and anything that they could think of, or had read about, or had ever heard. The three of them tried all of the contacts and connections they had made over all of their combined years of existence. But nothing that Dean, Bobby, or Castiel could come up with would ease Sam's torment.

In the end, Dean had to lock Sam in the panic room and have at least one person stationed outside the door at all times to make sure that Sam did not hurt himself.

Hunting was put on hold.

Until Rufus called Bobby one day to say that it looked like a pretty powerful trickster was causing trouble in Reliance, SD. The trip would only take two and a half hours, and Cas was in the middle of a battle lull in his war with Raphael. Dean was desperate and decided that maybe he could at least beg the trickster to help Sam.

So Dean and Bobby hopped into their respective cars, after the eldest Winchester had carefully instructed Cas in the art of speed-dial and had given the angel strict orders to protect Sam, and made the drive to Reliance.

In any case, they expected that things could not get worst.

* * *

Maybe sometimes God did care.

"_It can't be…"_

Even he was not always at M. Night level douchiness.

"_Well hello boys. Guess who's back for an encore!"_

At least Dean knew how to deal with this trickster.

"_Gabriel…"_

* * *

Because of their shared history, it was not difficult for Dean to get Gabriel back to Sioux Falls. Dean immediately brought the archangel down to the cellar and into the panic room. Gabriel could not even be his usual satirical self when he saw the damage down to Sam's soul.

"_How long was he down there?"_

"_Over a year. Can you do anything?"_

"_Whatever my brothers did to him, it's beyond bad. But maybe if I can find out exactly some of the tortures he went through, maybe I can figure out something that'll help the poor sap."_

* * *

Someone should have thought of it before.

"_I think I've figured out a way to help Sam."_

Dean was surprised Death had not mentioned it.

"_I'll be right back."_

Now there were two tortured souls instead of one.

"_Adam?"_

* * *

Their little brother may not be a wall, but he was definitely more than just a band aid.

The End.

A/n: I have such a soft spot for Gabriel. I have more Adam fics with him involved planned. Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!


	5. Raffish

2/15/11

Raffish

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

A/n: I need help. Only Adam Drabbles are coming out of my mind! What to do? I just can't fight it! So here's another drabble. With more Gabriel! (I've been re-watching his episodes lately.) And this drabble is like part 1 of 2. Part 2 will probably be out tomorrow, if not the end of today. Enjoy!

"_This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!"_

* * *

"Sam, Dean, just shut the hell up! Geez! You're fighting like a bunch of rotten kids today! Grow up and cram it!"

Gabriel knew that there was a reason he had always liked this kid. He had instantly attached to the boy the moment the archangel had raised the suffering soul from Hell.

The young kid represented something Gabriel had thought he himself was incapable of achieving. The small human was able to do what he, an archangel, had been so afraid to do.

Yeah, his dad had definitely been right about these bizarre little creatures.

A/n: Short. Simple. Gabriel. Nothing more to say.

~ROMS


	6. Vivify

2/15/11

Vivify

Disclaimer: I live off of tips. I don't own Supernatural.

A/n: Part 2 of 2. Enjoy!

With all the experiences he had had with archangels, Adam had expected this tricky being to be different. What he did not expect was what made him smile whenever the archangel popped in.

He saw what he could have been in the archangel's eyes. Had Adam been raised as a Winchester, he would have one day become a human reflection of the younger angel.

Maybe Adam would have made the right decision in the end if he had been brought up in a family like his.

* * *

" _Don't you ever – ever –presume to know what I am. Now listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you!"_

The End.

A/n: Okay. Now I'm going to go write what has to be written or else. Please Review!

~ROMS


	7. Bivouac

5/29/11

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

A/n: I have at least three Adam drabbles or oneshots, plus a multi-chaptered fic, waiting to be written so expect more coming up eventually. It's summer break for me, so hopefully I will be getting a lot of writing done. For now, enjoy a little Adam drabble with focus on Michael.

Bivouac \BIV-wak, BIV-uh-wak\ _noun;_

1. An encampment for the night, usually under little or no shelter.

_intransitive verb:_

1. To encamp for the night, usually under little or no shelter.

Adam thought he would be more aware of what was going on outside of his body than what was going on inside.

* * *

Michael knows it is not perfect, but he is in a hurry. He has to stop his brother.

* * *

This is not right. Michael begins to squirm within the skin.

Unlike Michael, this boy has no real father. There were no rules this boy had to follow since birth. This boy never had any orders.

Michael does not like it. He feels like everything itches, but that he cannot scratch deep enough to relieve the irritation.

Michael is a soldier. He is loyal to his father's word. This boy is just a boy, obedient enough to not cause trouble with his elders, but still able to choose what he wants to do next.

This boy is nothing like Michael.

* * *

The wrong vessel.

How could he have let this boy be his vessel?

This is what happens when he disobeys. This is what happens when he makes a choice.

* * *

This boy is nothing like Michael and the inconsistencies are eating away at the archangel's grace.

* * *

Just as Adam can feel the flames of an archangel's grace burning away his insides, the young boy can also feel Michael suffer as that same grace is going up in smoke.

* * *

The only real thing that Michael and Adam have in common is that they are both dying.

The End.

A/n: Don't forget to leave some lovely reviews! Love ya'll lots!

~ROMS


	8. Bilocation

9/11/11

Disclaimer: I assure you, I am quite poor at the moment and do not own Supernatural.

A/n: I'm going through withdrawals. I need Supernatural to return. I need the insanity of the Winchesters' lives to bring sanity back to mine. Anyway, I had a quick little spark of inspiration (something that has been severely lacking in my life for the past few months) and wrote this piece. I really want to write some other stuff, but I am having major declines in inspiration and motivation at the moment and it's kind of making me a little depressed. I enjoy writing my stories and want to get back to them. Hopefully, now that I've had a little bit of inspiration and was able to write this, I'll be able to work on other stuff soon. This is just a short piece about brothers and time. Enjoy!

Bilocation

\bahy-loh-KEY-shuhn\, noun;

1. The state of being or the ability to be in two places at the same time.

* * *

He was doing this for Dean.

Picking up the pieces. Of himself…and his other life he had forgotten.

Doing this was going to change Sam in ways unimaginable. Sam's soul had spent over a year in Hell, but that was surface years. Sam's soul had lived over a hundred years in Hell. Torture years. It was a life without Dean. And it hurt.

Doing this was going to hurt Sam. But it would help Dean.

No one knew what would happen next. Whether or not Sam would be okay. What mattered though, was finding out everything so that Sam could be all of himself once again. Sam needed to be Dean's little brother again, be there for Dean.

It was time to remember.

Sam plunged the knife into himself.

_._

_._

_._

He did this for Dean…so why is Adam the only one he can think about?

A/n: What will Sam be like in season 7?

-ROMS


	9. Austral

9/27/12

Disclaimer: My fortunes would vastly improve if I owned Supernatural, but I seem to not be getting any richer, and thus, do not own Supernatural.

A/n: I'm feeling more into Charmed right now, but I have this word stuck in my head and it fits Supernatural so much better.

Austral

\AW-struhl\, _adjective_:

1. Southern.

* * *

Some days down here, Lucifer and Michael get less creative in their torture methods. It is as if the mundane can somehow get to them too. Because constantly inflicting pain on the mutilated loose ends of a single soul is normally monotonous.

Like last week (or what passes for weeks here). Lucifer thought it would be a great source of entertainment to read every word in the dictionary and their definitions for hours on end to his imprisoned human roommate. It is still debatable as to who was more tortured by this act. Boredom does not fit well on an angel (fallen or not).

There was an unseen side-effect though. Everyone received an expanded vocabulary.

But "miracle" will forever remain outside of Adam's personal dictionary.

However, what is happening right now might just change his mind.

Lucifer and Michael are asleep and the cage door is wide open.

"Trap" is in his dictionary.

Angels do not sleep. And as far as everyone knows, this cage is locked tight for the next eternity and any eternities after that. This new and frightening change throws all of the past spent here into a physics-lawless warp zone. What the hell?

At this point, there is not much more to lose. You cannot get much more horrid than this. There is only so much depth to fall into when one enters the pit.

So it is time to take a risk.

Adam slams the cage door behind him as he walks out. He is not stupid.

Then he keeps walking.

It is a little while before he sees the sign. Not like a sign from above or anything. It is literally a sign. Or I guess he would call it a window sign to be more specific.

Cause suddenly the sign is in a window. Next to a door that was not there before.

He is now in a building, standing in a hallway of what seems to be an office building. But this door leads to the only office in the hallway that appears as if it possibly goes on for as long as Lucifer and Michael are banished to the cage.

Adam reads the sign.

"Under new management"

He opens the door and walks in.

* * *

"You hiring?"

A/n: You have no idea how much this piece makes me feel as if my world is returning. I like it. Even if it's not really like anything else I may have done. Even if it is slightly vague and maybe even crackish. I like it.

-ROMS


	10. Adam's Song

9/13/13

Adam's Song

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song "Adam's Song" by Blink-182.

A/n: Has this been done before? Cause then I'd be slow on the uptake. But this song seems to just be too perfect not to relate to the tragic figure of one Adam Milligan. We just can't let go.

* * *

_I never thought I'd die alone._

_I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?_

_I trace the cord back to the wall._

_No wonder it was never plugged in at all._

_I took my time; I hurried up._

_The choice was mine. _

_I didn't think enough._

_I'm too depressed to go on._

_You'll be sorry when I'm gone._

* * *

Were they sorry he was gone?

* * *

_I never conquered, rarely came._

_Sixteen just held such better days, days when I still felt alive._

_We couldn't wait to get outside._

_The world was wide, too late to try._

_The tour was over; we'd survived._

_I couldn't wait till I got home, to pass the time in my room alone._

* * *

Sometimes, when his desire to get out becomes so strong, he can almost imagine himself floating above. But then it is too bright. So he goes back to his room. The Cage. Alone…but not.

* * *

_I never thought I'd die alone._

_Another six months, I'll be unknown._

_Give all my things to all my friends._

_You'll never step foot in my room again._

_You'll close it off, board it up._

_Remember the time that I spilled the cup of apple juice in the hall?_

_Please tell mom this is not her fault._

* * *

They probably forgot about him in less than six months. Less than six days. They closed the Cage and will never step foot near this room again.

* * *

_I never conquered, rarely came._

_Sixteen just held such better days, days when I still felt alive._

_We couldn't wait to get outside._

_The world was wide, too late to try._

_The tour was over; we'd survived._

_I couldn't wait till I got home, to pass the time in my room alone._

* * *

He thought he was going to save the world. Conquer the Devil. But they came…and conquered.

* * *

_I never conquered, rarely came._

_But tomorrow holds such better days, days when I can still feel alive, when I can't wait to get outside._

_The world is wide; the time goes by._

_The tour is over; I've survived._

_I can't wait till I get home, to pass the time in my room alone._

* * *

Time goes by. Tomorrow, he hopes. He'll feel alive. He'll survive. Get out and return to his home. Them.

He can't wait.

To be so not alone.

* * *

A/n: Waaaahhhh! I miss him too much and bemoan his fate so! Plus my Adam key-chain just broke! Crying forever!

-ROMS


	11. Down to My Last Match

9/13/13

Down to My Last Match

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor do I own the song "If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins.

A/n: Heard this on the radio the other day on my way home from work and another drabble was born. Just after writing the last one too!

* * *

Heaven put him back together after the ghouls had broken him and his heart into bite size pieces. Then he met the angels that caused him to step on a more crooked path than what his original life may have been intended for. He asked them about his mom; they lied to him.

Earth is where he learned the truth, when his brothers were the only ones who actually tried to save him from a messed up fate. That is also when things went from bad to worse before he could even think that things could get worse than dying.

Hell contains an acerbically silent archangel and a country-singing devil.

Lucifer liked to torment through irony.

"_If you're goin' through Hell, keep on going. Don't slow down; if you're scared, don't show it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there. When you're goin' through Hell, keep on movin'. Face that fire, walk right through it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there. You might get out before the Devil even knows you're there," _sang the Devil.

Adam usually tried to stay quiet through it.

In his memories, though, he has a mother with a weakness for twang. He has heard this song before, and he actually can recall some of the words from the rest of the song. The lyrics he remembered made his situation even more sardonic.

He quietly intoned them under his breath, _"But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street, holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet. The one's that you've been draggin' for so long."_

Lucifier had to let out a laugh at that.

Adam just retreated deeper down the darkness he had fallen into.

But he held onto one last thought. **'You're on your knees, might as well be prayin', guess what I'm sayin'.'**

* * *

A/n: Otherwise known as: I turn an inspiring song into angst.

-ROMS


End file.
